low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
