wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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