Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.

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(443): View more from Maryland

when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her

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(619): View more from California

reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy

(1-619): View more from California

sounds legit

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(231): View more from Michigan

I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!

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(773): View more from Illinois

Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy

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(916): View more from California

I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth

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(254): View more from Texas

I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.

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