i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
