We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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