just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just want nice things and good sex
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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