butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
