i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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