Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Watching her eat just hurts me
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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