I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
