let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
