I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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