Buhtt sex?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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