So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
