I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
