idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My vagina just clenched in fear
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
