We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
