my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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