I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
