I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think people are normalizing furries
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
