Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
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im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
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Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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