I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
