I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
