I want to stick my p in your. b.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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