Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
