belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
