I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
