I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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