super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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