Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
