Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
ttyl tear gas
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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