with your own penis?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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