Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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