You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
A bitchslap is in order.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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