watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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