He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
