took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
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you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
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It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around