the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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