is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
