every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My penis needs a shock collar
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?