Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  tell him to stop quoting family guy

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  (412): omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say (1-412): tell him to stop quoting family guy http://tfl.nu/1hbe
  Replies (18) Good night (1497) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.

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  (845): I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive. http://tfl.nu/u0rp
  Replies (15) Good night (1733) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on

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  (864): I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on http://tfl.nu/cdph
  Replies (14) Good night (3474) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.

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  (360): It feels like Jesse James cheated on America. http://tfl.nu/twcl
  Replies (22) Good night (4104) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  It'd be like medium rare by now.

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.

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  (419): It'd be like medium rare by now. (1-419): I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat. http://tfl.nu/d8mh
  Replies (9) Good night (1675) Bad night (3523)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.

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  (715): Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester. http://tfl.nu/dlm3
  Replies (19) Good night (1182) Bad night (4114)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.

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  (204): We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party. http://tfl.nu/tsig
  Replies (3) Good night (2436) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.

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  (614): You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you. http://tfl.nu/0odh
  Replies (8) Good night (2014) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...

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  (404): He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight... http://tfl.nu/5hx6
  Replies (33) Good night (1230) Bad night (5053)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.

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  (304): What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like? (859): i already know. Delicious. Use ranch. http://tfl.nu/w6yr
  Replies (19) Good night (3610) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.

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  (712): I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray. http://tfl.nu/8ri0
  Replies (5) Good night (1810) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.

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  (647): So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers. http://tfl.nu/zbe6
  Replies (2) Good night (894) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.

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  (716): Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories. http://tfl.nu/jhay
  Replies (2) Good night (502) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice

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  (306): so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground (306): and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice http://tfl.nu/0q9q
  Replies (1) Good night (653) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!

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  (360): OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!! http://tfl.nu/dp1t
  Replies (1) Good night (192) Bad night (428)

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