So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
