Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
