If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize