I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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