Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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