So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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