There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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