i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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