the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
