I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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