We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
