I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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