Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
