He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
