if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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