no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
