69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
