Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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