508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
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Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
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In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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