I could make wine with my vomit
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
