Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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