the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize
