but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
