Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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