am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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