please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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