just survived the first fart of the relationship.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
