Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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