There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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