did you get engaged???
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
